Give It All

On my way home from work this evening, I was listening to older podcast episodes of Kingdom Driven Entrepreneur. One of the episodes was when Shae talks to Joshua from King’s Loot. I remembered the episode instantly and it’s one of my favorites. Joshua talks about being broke and begging God to follow through on His promises. His bank account was in the negative and he needed to pay for coaching. He said he saw a vision of flood gates opening. I was in tears listening to it.

That’s what I keep praying for. Not for the sake of money in and of itself, but to be able to work on my dream that I know God gave me. To be able to be home with my husband and dog more. To not have to spend 4+ hours of my day commuting. He spent way more money than I have but I still feel the same way. When the episode ended I backed it up and started it again. There’s something there that I needed to hear again. 

I stopped for gas when I got closer to home. A lady approached me and asked for money. I hardly ever carry cash and when I do I don’t give it to people. If they need food I go in and buy it for them but I don’t give cash. She didn’t need food though. She was homeless and trying to get a room for the night. I told her to let me finish filling up my car. I knew I had cash in my lunchbox. I knew I had $40. I was intending to put it in my business account but it had been in my lunchbox for a couple weeks. To be completely transparent, I don’t have much in my business account. I could’ve used the $40. But I felt like sharing was the right thing to do. I convinced myself $20 was a nice gesture and reached into my car to get it. As I reached for it I heard God say “give it all”. Seriously God? I could use that for my business. She’d told me she needed $75 and I already told her I didn’t have that much. She said she would be thankful just for change. 

I handed her the $40 and smiled. She was in disbelief and asked if I was sure. I said yes. She asked if she could give me a hug. I agreed and told her to take care of herself. She apologized for smelling bad but I didn’t even notice. I sat there for a moment, ordering my food to pick up on the way home. I saw her walk around the corner of the building. Was she telling me the truth? I have no idea. I prayed that if she was using it for something bad that she would be convicted in an unbearable way but if she was using it for good that she would be blessed ten fold. 

My eyes welled up with tears as I left the gas station. I hoped she was being honest but I’ll never know. I did was I thought was right. I’d like to hope that when I wake up tomorrow I’ll have notifications of sales, blessing my effort but more importantly I’ll wake up tomorrow knowing I was obedient to what God told me to do and that’s far more rewarding than selling a shirt.